[He will absolutely steal a journal for his own notes in that case. Just propping his back on the wall and using Emet's bed for reading and note taking.]
He told me he could sense it after you used his body to use it. That leads me to believe it is inherently possible for him.
But Arcanima suits his mind better, at least to begin with. I fear he is too logical to appreciate the whispers and subtleties of the elemental flow without a structured base. Simply a different way of teaching music, through the math instead of the feeling.
As for your work, I will not nag you. You have your own way of things and I mine. But if you are going to insist on my sleep schedule and the like I will have demands of your dreams.
And to hear of your experiences here, you joys and sorrows and theories we can discuss.
But of course. As refreshing as it is to have you physically present it is jarring to see you with that color about you. Though it makes it easier to play the part of dubious allies.
He does not wish for those on the shard to die. Thus he has proclaimed it and myself as murders. Though he is unwilling to see me as a monster, so he's put himself in quite the spot. BARiTONES was very different upon my first day here. Business and rules and none of the comforts of care. He was quite beside himself, and I did believe him a terrible fit for the unit so I did reach out so he would not be beside himself. He fits though, perfectly so, once all of the ceremony and posturing is stripped away. But it is because of that initial kindness that he does have pause.
I had ... hoped it would turn out differently. Too attached I grew. He has not know such tragedy, such suffering as the rest of us. Unmarred by tragedy I had seen a future, a hope in him that I had not held for such a long time. But now I do believe he has the foolish notion is his head to find a different path, and he will get in the way. I still care for him greatly, and I do not wish to hurt him. But our goal remains paramount.
And ever does he care for those of the shards. Perhaps I am simply jealous he does not give such devotion for those we have lost.
[He absently taps the pen against his lower lip as he listens, gaze distant and unfocused.]
His nature is kind and naive. Does it pain you to be rejected by him? But it sounds as if he will not see our point of view, not without breaking that which is a fundamental part of what you care for in him.
What do you intend to do now? Simply treat him gently and dismiss him as a threat? I do not believe him particularly focused on you, and I get the impression his love for you holds, no matter how hurt and confused. Enough not to spill your secrets.
I was not expecting him to agree. Though the words he used were quite --- they did scar deeper than I expected. And this is not his burden to bear. I would not push it on him further.
[He sighs.]
He is attached to the Exarch or at least views him and Auracite with favor. He will not spill my secrets nor will he plot against me. Of this I do not fear. What I do believe will happen is the Exarch and I will back each other into a corner, and he will foolishly jump in.
As for what I intend to do, I do plan to see if I can distance his memory of the confession. I do not intent to bring it up again.
[He leans his lips against his fingers and closes his eyes, thinking for a while. Empty platitudes are not what he will ever offer. And yet, it is true that hope disappointed, that a betrayal of trust can truly hurt, it's just been so long since he's felt it, it takes him a while to figure out what to say.]
I admire that you had the capacity to place your hope in him. Even if it is a regret to you now. I can offer no solace or comfort, but that I do not believe you were in the wrong to act on your better emotions, even with a bitter outcome.
'Twas wishful thinking on my part. To believe in the possibility of an unsundered soul. They are not and never will be equal to that of our brethren.
Well, perhaps not all. Other gambles I have taken and been rewarded kindly. And that is what we do after all, scheme and plot and plot again when we need to. Failures are bound to happen.
Hm. I do believe you have more belief in mortals than I. Perhaps it comes with your sight. For me it is hard to distinguish them from the abominations.
But in this place it is new territory. Mortals unsundered is not something we have any experience in. Failure is certainly inevitable.
My approach is wrong, as you have noted, as is full faith. So some mix of wariness and hope must be found, that neither of us have the answer to what balance is necessary.
In experiments of trial and error, error is itself a victory, new data.
But emotions are not so clean cut. And it has been long since either of us opened our hearts to wounding. That it grieves you is to be expected.
[Excuse you, Lahabrea. Emet routinely got over attached to some of his children he vetted against each other. Not that he probably admitted this to either him or Elidibus.]
So do watch out for him. I do not wish to see him hurt, but I imagine he will be a hurdle to content with. Five has already agreed to help me with this, but I'd avoid it where possible.
Other than this all this is speculation. Vast new worlds with new experiences. I do hope to glean an idea or two from them if nothing else. It has been a long time since either of us have learned a concept so new and foreign.
I'm quite sure you'll wrap your mind around time travel and multiple timelines faster than I. The theory of it anyway.
And if there are those you wish me to keep distance as you meddle, do keep me informed. With such a small population were are more likely to bump into each other's experiments.
Though a disclaimer I would put on another. Absinthe can handle himself as always, but it has taken no small amount of effort to win his trust. And his trust I do cherish. Do not jeopardize that, Lahabrea. The two of you can bicker all you please, but do keep the splash damage to a minimum.
I'm quite sure once lost, that man's trust is never regained. Insufferable is one word I would use to describe him from time to time.
[He sighs.]
Pain, gotten or given, does not bother her much --- and on the contrary might excite him --- so the rope you have to work with is quite extensive. But I want to ensure he does have a place where he does not need to feel guarded.
That besides, you both are cunning in your own way. I'll be watching who is the victor of your games.
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
He told me he could sense it after you used his body to use it. That leads me to believe it is inherently possible for him.
But Arcanima suits his mind better, at least to begin with. I fear he is too logical to appreciate the whispers and subtleties of the elemental flow without a structured base. Simply a different way of teaching music, through the math instead of the feeling.
As for your work, I will not nag you. You have your own way of things and I mine. But if you are going to insist on my sleep schedule and the like I will have demands of your dreams.
And to hear of your experiences here, you joys and sorrows and theories we can discuss.
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
[He pauses, tilting his head.]
Demands of my dreams? You wish to make changes to Amaurot?
Well, we can start with my greatest failure. Telling Wildfire of our purpose. He took it worse than I imagined.
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
Mm. He could not handle the situation and your part in it, I take it? Too gentle to see the necessity inherent in our cause?
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
He does not wish for those on the shard to die. Thus he has proclaimed it and myself as murders. Though he is unwilling to see me as a monster, so he's put himself in quite the spot. BARiTONES was very different upon my first day here. Business and rules and none of the comforts of care. He was quite beside himself, and I did believe him a terrible fit for the unit so I did reach out so he would not be beside himself. He fits though, perfectly so, once all of the ceremony and posturing is stripped away. But it is because of that initial kindness that he does have pause.
I had ... hoped it would turn out differently. Too attached I grew. He has not know such tragedy, such suffering as the rest of us. Unmarred by tragedy I had seen a future, a hope in him that I had not held for such a long time. But now I do believe he has the foolish notion is his head to find a different path, and he will get in the way. I still care for him greatly, and I do not wish to hurt him. But our goal remains paramount.
And ever does he care for those of the shards. Perhaps I am simply jealous he does not give such devotion for those we have lost.
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
His nature is kind and naive. Does it pain you to be rejected by him? But it sounds as if he will not see our point of view, not without breaking that which is a fundamental part of what you care for in him.
What do you intend to do now? Simply treat him gently and dismiss him as a threat? I do not believe him particularly focused on you, and I get the impression his love for you holds, no matter how hurt and confused. Enough not to spill your secrets.
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
[He sighs.]
He is attached to the Exarch or at least views him and Auracite with favor. He will not spill my secrets nor will he plot against me. Of this I do not fear. What I do believe will happen is the Exarch and I will back each other into a corner, and he will foolishly jump in.
As for what I intend to do, I do plan to see if I can distance his memory of the confession. I do not intent to bring it up again.
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
[There's plenty to meddle with there without actually making it personal to either of them.]
You really did wish to trust him. Or was it loneliness?
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I admire that you had the capacity to place your hope in him. Even if it is a regret to you now. I can offer no solace or comfort, but that I do not believe you were in the wrong to act on your better emotions, even with a bitter outcome.
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
Well, perhaps not all. Other gambles I have taken and been rewarded kindly. And that is what we do after all, scheme and plot and plot again when we need to. Failures are bound to happen.
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
But in this place it is new territory. Mortals unsundered is not something we have any experience in. Failure is certainly inevitable.
My approach is wrong, as you have noted, as is full faith. So some mix of wariness and hope must be found, that neither of us have the answer to what balance is necessary.
In experiments of trial and error, error is itself a victory, new data.
But emotions are not so clean cut. And it has been long since either of us opened our hearts to wounding. That it grieves you is to be expected.
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
So do watch out for him. I do not wish to see him hurt, but I imagine he will be a hurdle to content with. Five has already agreed to help me with this, but I'd avoid it where possible.
Other than this all this is speculation. Vast new worlds with new experiences. I do hope to glean an idea or two from them if nothing else. It has been a long time since either of us have learned a concept so new and foreign.
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
Oh I have my plans to meddle with him, unconnected to you. They may be somewhat harder now but not much. I'll keep an eye on him.
And yes. That at least is... Quite exciting. I haven't felt so invigorated in years.
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
And if there are those you wish me to keep distance as you meddle, do keep me informed. With such a small population were are more likely to bump into each other's experiments.
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
Though a disclaimer I would put on another. Absinthe can handle himself as always, but it has taken no small amount of effort to win his trust. And his trust I do cherish. Do not jeopardize that, Lahabrea. The two of you can bicker all you please, but do keep the splash damage to a minimum.
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
[He sighs.]
Pain, gotten or given, does not bother her much --- and on the contrary might excite him --- so the rope you have to work with is quite extensive. But I want to ensure he does have a place where he does not need to feel guarded.
That besides, you both are cunning in your own way. I'll be watching who is the victor of your games.
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
Re: DAY 241 - Morning
Re: DAY 241 - Morning